Published September 22, 2006
Creatures die and countries fall
A hero fights to save it all.
Worlds begin and others end,
So many others to defend.
Creatures live and countries thrive
I am witness, I am scribe.
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140,588 Literary Works • 673,542 Reviews
I liked this, mainly because it was short...
I absolutely hate the title though... lol. But I can't talk, I'm crap at title making.
Anyway,
here goes...
What I liked:
"Worlds begin and others end,
So many others to defend. "
I like your use of rhyming here,
its good.
What I didn't like:
"others"
you had this word repeated... it just jutted out a bit thats all.
I loved it.
This is going to be printed out and stuck up on my wall
lexy xxx
i really, really suck at rhyming, so i can't offer any suggestions... but please do get the last two lines to rhyme. it really threw me. otherwise, i love it.
I really like it. Short and simple, but it gets it's point across very well.
Yeah. I don't really have anyhthing to say that others haven't.
Nice work.
I liked the poem. The only thing i saw that bugged me was that in the last two lines you stopped the rhyming which kind of throws it off. Good job though.
Very cool poem, short and sweet. Last Mohican, right? Like Hawkeye?
Aw! I automatically love any short poem that has something to do with write.
I like it. do you have a title? It reminds me of history and I love history, so that's a good thing.